Infidelity In A Marriage- 9 Ways To Rebuild The Love And Intimacy

After experiencing an infidelity in a marriage, one of the hardest things to do is get back that loving feeling whether it be outside or inside the bedroom. Although many couples want to save the marriage and still have deep feelings for each other, it feels near impossible for the injured party to put aside the hurt and betrayal and show emotional or physical affection. Here are 7 ways to rebuild the love and intimacy after experiencing an infidelity in a marriage. 1. Set aside designated time to talk about the infidelity in your marriage. Although you may have to bite your tongue not to bring the affair up whenever you have an urge, it's beneficial to the relationship if a certain time and place are designated to discuss the affair and how you want to deal with it. Setting aside a designated time and place will help you both focus on the task at hand and encourage the conversation to be more deliberate and productive.
2. Express your dissatisfaction differently. Many couples resort to insulting, jabbing and sarcasm to get their point across. If your angry, disappointed or not pleased with your partners actions, try to express your dissatisfaction by telling them your true feelings. Use "I" messages rather than "you" and keep the criticism and contempt out of the arguments. For example, if your spouse is late for dinner, explain you prepared a special meal and it hurts your feelings that you didn't even get a phone call vs you're always late. Whats wrong with you! 3. Listen without interrupting. Yes, your spouse is saying what you believe to be stupid things, but try not to interrupt. Really listen to your partner before forming your come back thoughts. This is difficult to do but will allow you both to engage in a more rational discussion rather than being hot-headed and arguing.
4. Take time to engage in new activities you both enjoy doing. Try doing different things you might always have been interested in. Take a long evening walk in a different area, cook together, try taking a dancing lesson together or splurge on a short weekend getaway. This will enable the two of you to interact differently which will add a different element into the relationship. 5. Focus on the good. Sounds simple yet infidelity in a marriage makes this extremely difficult. Yes, you married each other because you liked what you saw and how your partner made you feel. Keep in mind if your spouse has no good qualities remaining, you should not be with them! Really focus on what you admire, and find attractive about your partner. Remember, what you focus on expands. 6. Be grateful for having each other. It's difficult to think in these terms after you've been hurt so badly, but try to recall what your husband or wife has brought to your life. Marriage provides us with lessons in love, companionship, intimacy and in many cases, beautiful children. What lessons has this relationship taught you? We hook up with people for a reason. Each person participating in your life provides you with something of value. 7. When it comes to physical intimacy, go slow. If you've been cheated on, getting your sexual desire back is often difficult. Take your time and don't rush your feelings. Hand holding, a back rub or foot massage will eventually lead to hugging, kissing and more. Remember, the largest erogenous zone is the brain. Focusing on your feelings first is highly recommended. 8. Talk about sex. Discussing where the two of you went wrong, what your preferences are and how you can get the sexual relationship back into your marriage is a great place to start. This works as foreplay by getting into the right frame of mind.

9. Seek counsel. There have been countless couples that have experienced infidelity in a marriage and came out the other side with a stronger more loving relationship. Some couples figure out how to do this on their own and other couples require some structure and guidance. Marriage counsellors, therapists and group therapy are all a great way to mend the relationship. However, some couples feel extremely uncomfortable going this route or don't have the funds to take part in this form of counselling. If this is the case, a wealth of information is available online and at your local library which can guide you to rebuilding a stronger more loving marriage. Rebuilding the love and intimacy after infidelity in a marriage takes some time and effort, but many couples have come out much stronger for the effort. If you and your spouse are committed to rebuilding your marriage, you can get that loving feeling back too!